Sexual Healing – Why Every Woman Should Explore Her Sensuality
and How Yoni Massage Therapy Can Help
As a woman, it is incredibly important to get to know our own bodies, and what we prefer and enjoy when it comes to sensual pleasure. A fully expressed and whole woman embraces her sexuality and is not afraid to explore that which excites her.
Sexual liberation is still a relatively new concept for women. We have awakened to the truth of the way that feminine sexuality is both repressed and exploited in our culture and we are in need of sexual healing. Women receive concurrent messages about their sexuality. They are told it is dirty and shameful and should be hidden and kept in private, on the one hand. On the other hand, they are shown by the media that it is highly prized and idealized, as long as it fits into the parameters of what is socially acceptable.
Most women have been traumatized out of authentically expressing and experiencing their sensuality, either through personal experience or through our culture. We live in a time when, for a woman to truly express and experience herself, is still a radical and revolutionary act.
The act of exploring our own desires, of throwing out old rationalizations for not desiring things, of asking ourselves what we truly find pleasurable – these are radical acts for women. From a young age, we have been trained to question our own perspective, and seek confirmation of what we know outside of ourselves. So many of us have created such a disconnect from our authentic desires, that we don’t even know what we might want, as it has been too much time since we’ve bothered to ask ourselves.
Women are brought up, trained to aspire to marriage and being subservient to their husband. They are brought up to think about serving him and his pleasure, and with lots of pressure to keep up a home, and also perform sexually. That’s just it, for so many women, sexual engagement has become just a performance. It has become something that women allow to happen to their bodies because it is expected of them within their social construct. So many women have learned to engage in sex with someone when they don’t ACTUALLY desire it.
Ignoring our own desire, or lack thereof, results in engagement with our bodies that feels like self-betrayal. When we choose to put our bodies in a situation that our body does not inherently desire (ie: we are not turned on in the situation) we force our bodies into an interaction that erodes our body’s ability to trust our own judgment. This can result in the body shutting down sensationally in various ways, blocking our ability to experience pleasure.
Our bodies can respond in all sorts of self-protective ways, like tensing muscles – either our vaginal muscles or our jaw or throat muscles. Our body naturally tenses when it doesn’t feel safe. This unconscious trauma that is stored in the body from the times that we engaged with our minds instead of our bodies can really impact how we express ourselves as a person. It can also make engaging in sex painful or uncomfortable for some women.
It is important for women to slow down and explore their own bodies, and get clear on how they enjoy being touched. We are currently creating a paradigm shift in which a woman’s sexual desire gets to have just as much a place in the bedroom as a man’s. A woman is not in the bedroom to be in service to a man, they are there to be in service to each other. A woman’s desires should be just as much a part of the equation as a man’s.
Yoni Massage and Sexual Healing
Yoni massage therapy is an excellent way to engage with exploring what is both desirable and pleasurable as a woman. First of all, as a woman, you get to decide exactly what is going to occur during a pleasure session, as well as what won’t occur. Having complete freedom to decide where the boundaries lie can be a real first for a woman, and is a great opportunity to get real about what you do and do not want. Secondly, there is a wide range of options when it comes to the kind of service one can experience. Everything from extremely basic intimate touch, all the way to kinky and erotic – there is so much to explore.
In a professional scenario like yoni massage, a woman can give herself permission to fully relax into trust and receiving pleasure from a man she knows is not going to push her to do anything she doesn’t desire. She can open up to exploring lots of different forms of vaginal touch, breast touch, anal touch, and other forms of stimulation that she may not have allowed herself to even be curious about before.
A typical yoni massage is a full body massage that culminates in a pussy massage, and usually a delicious orgasms. A woman can use this opportunity to focus the exploration – does she like g-spot stimulation more, or clitoral stimulation? Or is it best when the two are simultaneous? Does she like soft touch or firm touch more? Or is there a proper time for both? Does she prefer external stimulation or internal? Or both simultaneously?
The body has so many erogenous zones, a yoni massage can be an opportunity to discover that you are incredibly turned on by being touched between your toes, or perhaps that you particularly love anal touch. Maybe there is a spot at your waist or the side of your breast that is directly connected to the nerves in your clitoris.
The point of yoni massage is slow, intentional stimulation, following the body’s response to pleasure and going with what the body wants. A good yoni massage therapist is going to watch how your body responds to certain pleasure techniques, and use your body’s feedback to guide how he touches you. You can always ask for more of a certain type of touch, or less. The entire goal is to keep things pleasurable.
It is so empowering for women to discover what they do and do not desire when it comes to pleasure, because this enables them to better communicate it to partners and speak up for their own pleasure experience. Men cannot deliver something to us as women that we aren’t clear around ourselves. When women are able to articulate where the desired boundaries are, we can fully relax into receiving pleasure from a partner.
For some women, the concept of sexual boundaries will be entirely new. To be armed with the information about what you are and are not available for in the bedroom is really powerful, because it can then spill out into the definition of boundaries throughout the rest of your life. Being empowered and confident sexually can profoundly impact how you show up in the world, as a woman.
Times are changing, and women are claiming their sexuality for themselves. It is no longer something that is being guarded for husbands, or to be owned by the media or the porn industry. Women are claiming sexuality for themselves, so that others can no longer claim it. As each individual woman engages in this reclamation, the collective culture shifts, more and more.
This is one of the subtle ways in which women have not been treated equally – we are taught from a very young age that our desires are secondary to our service. So as women claim their own desires, we are also reclaiming our power. Our desires are NOT secondary. They are just as important. And, as individuals, we should all be standing for our right to have our own desires, in the bedroom, and beyond.
Yoni massage can be an excellent tool for getting to know your own body and its preferences for pleasure in a reliably safe and predictable environment. So many things can limit a woman from really exploring her own desires within the confines of a relationship. It is truly liberating to have an opportunity that is entirely dedicated to the exploration of a woman’s pleasure, especially some of the desires that may feel a bit more “taboo.”
The more women claim their right to a desirable pleasure experience and exploration, the less society and our culture will be able to repress the sexual power of women. It is repressed because it is so powerful. This is why, as women, we have been subjugated culturally, so that we don’t become too powerful.
That time is over, and women are rising into true equality and power, and sexual healing is taking place. Women’s sexual liberation and expression is vital to that process. Our sensuality and our sexuality are inherently linked to our feminine power. They cannot be separated. So, in claiming our sexual desires, we are claiming our power. A worthwhile venture, indeed.